Michael Jackson: An Ass Man

So… I’ve come to a very serious conclusion about Michael Joseph Jackson:

He was an ass man.

I present to you the evidence:

– Mark Lester:

‘We’d go out for dinner or a coffee and he would notice women walking past and say, ‘She’s so cute, she’s got a nice tush,’ but then he would be very apologetic.

– A Bodyguard for Michael Jackson in Berlin 1988 (rough translation):

When we were riding around in a car in Berlin, Michael would look at the women in miniskirts and high heels …”Look at her hips!” and “Look at her ass!” Michael would say.

However, when we passed  the girl in question he realized she was a 50 year old woman.

It is needless to say that Michael and I had a good laugh about that. It goes without saying that Michael is pro ass?

– Tatiana on shooting TWYMMF with Michael:

TY: Though he did regularly gazes at me, I was in awe when I caught him looking at my butt. He just approached me up close boldly & studied my butt. Then he took a moment to look away for a second after he did that & it was as if he was thinking or as if he was somewhere else. Then after he took this little pause moment he just bluntly asked, ‘Were you a ballerina?’, TY: ‘Yes.’, MJ:’You wore pointy shoes & danced on your toes?’ TY: ‘Yes, I did.’ MJ:’Wow!

By our fourth take, the heel of my boot was caught in the cars upholstery and Michael put his hand on my leg to help pull it out. It blew my mind that he had actually touched my leg, which I pulled away and began to tumble out of the car falling on my butt and hard too! Michael started laughing hysterically as Joe Pytka yelled, “Get up, keep it going, keep it going, and don’t stop.” As I did, Michael got out of the car and started wiping my butt off.

– Tatiana on the kiss:

As I stepped up to him and put my arms around his collar, he looked deep into my eyes, almost as though he was challenging me. Then he did this sexy little thing where he bit his bottom lip. I placed my arm around his waist, and I landed a kiss right on his smacker!

Never for a moment did I feel this was one-sided, as he at this point, put his left hand on my rear.

– Michael Lovesmith, former fellow Motown recording artist:

“Don’t believe the nonsense about Michael being gay and stuff. When there were girls around he’d talk about them to the guys and run around pinching their asses and then run away. He was a real funky street dude, know what I mean?”

– Aaron Carter:

However, Carter insisted that he thought Jackson liked women.
“He’ll see a girl and comment on her,” Carter said, “or want to touch her [bottom]. He likes girls.”

–  Becky Barksdale, lead guitarist for Michael during the Dangerous World Tour:

Barksdale recalled a concert, in a town she can’t remember, where she got an unexpected surprise from the Man in the Mirror.

It was during Jackson’s mega-hit Beat It, as she ripped through the Eddie Van Halen riffs made famous on MTV. Concentrating on the song, Barksdale was paying attention to little else.

“I came out front with him and we were dancing around and playing guitar, and he was right next to me,” she said, encouraging fans to visit her website to look for photos of the two together. “We never really had any contact with each other. We’re doing the show, night after night after night. One night, I think we were in Buenes Aires, or Chile, I can’t remember which … I had my eyes shut and I’m playing guitar, doing a guitar solo. All of a sudden I feel something on my butt.

I was like, ‘Oh my God, some crazed fan had somehow gotten past security and was on stage. But he was just having fun with me. I turned around and I saw that it was him, and my jaw dropped. And the drummer, I think he skipped a beat because he was laughing so hard,” said Barksdale, who beat out hundreds of other guitarists in a closed audition to win the right to stand on stage with Jackson during the tour.

Kai Chase, his personal chef during the last months:

Interviewer: Did he ever flirt with you?
Kai: Oh yeah, he would flirt you know, in his own charming way. I remember Prince coming into the kitchen, “daddy wants to know when dinner’s going to be ready?” I said, “It’s going to be ready at 6:30.” “Okay, well when it’s ready can you come and set it on th table.” So I’m in the dining room and I’m putting the dishes down and the food and whatnot and he walks in. I have menus on the table for the kids to see. So I’m leaving the area and I have on my chef’s uniform, the chef’s jacket and on the back there’s  a little openning at the back of the apron. So I have my white jeans on and I remember as I’m walking out, I turn around just to see and all of a sudden “psshht” his head turned and it was right on my tush. I was like okaaaay.
Interviewer: Fair to say that in that moment the King of Pop was reading more than one menu at the same time.
Kai: (laughing) I think so.

– Myspace post from a girl who knew him:

I’ll never forget the first thing he asked me was about my aunt. He had a thing for my Aunt J in the 80’s. She was ten years older than him and about 100 pounds heavier than him. She had always been pretty big and curvacious, most of her weight settling towards her lower body. It cracked me up that after all that time he was still checking for her. My mother had always told me that she thought Michael was some kind of undercover freak. He tried to be a shy boy in his younger days but he often got caught stealing some peeks. As she says, she thinks Michael was an “ass man.”

– Carry, a friend of Diana Ross’ in the 80s:

I have caught him staring at Diana, not just her butt(which he did at times) but just her and he would have this smile on his face.

– Nelson George, Conversations on Michael’s Black America, June 4 2010 (@86:00)

“You know it’s funny… Michael was a big sex symbol. Which has kind of got lost in the thing, but Michael was a huge sex symbol and… I’ll tell a story that’s not in the book because I actually didn’t have the right framework for it but in talking to LA Reid and talking to Teddy Riley, guys that spent a lot of time with him, they both told me stories about these women in the studio. It’s an interesting thing, everyone has their perceptions about what Michael was about, but I’ll tell you what… LA Reid is a guy I know very well, I know Teddy Riley very well, these are very straight guys. And they’re telling me that Michael had fine-ass women in the studio, you know, hanging out with him. I believe them. But also, the other thing he said about that was that he… would not… this is another story, another story, another friend of mine, a giant Michael Jackson fan, befriended him, I guess it must be around the turn of the century. So he goes to a party with Michael, Michael’s asking him, “Where’s Beyonce?” ‘Cause he’s never met Beyonce at this point, ’cause he wanted to see her, he made a reference about her derriere. And he goes, “I want to see the girl with the…[derriere]” So he introduces him to Beyonce.

And Michael sees a woman in the crowd, and gets them to bring her over, Michael chats with her, Michael does not take her phone number. As any well known star knows you never take the phone number, your man takes the phone number. So this guy ends up getting the number for Michael. So it’s interesting that there’s this whole narrative about Michael as a heterosexual male, hanging out with guys I know who are very heterosexual male, but there’s something interesting… he himself, would never consciously publicly… it was like he had this whole thing… he was selling the innocent, magical thing.”

Nobody was immune:

And on that theme…

So I know people are probably still reeling from discovering that Peter Pan was all about the bootay…

The air spank:

The actual spanks:

Story time:

In an interview during the 90s Madonna talked about how she and Michael went back to her place after the Oscars in 1991. What did they get up to? Madonna said Michael was very interested in some “photography books” she had.

Fast forward to Michael talking to Rabbi Shmuley:

MJ: At the time I was with Madonna she was into these books, a whole library of women who were tied to walls. She said, “I love spanky books.” Why do I want to see that?

Madonna and Michael, Joe Mantegna, talking about the filming of MJ’s Pepsi Commercial, sometime May 4th -22nd, 1992

Joe Mantegna who worked on a commercial with Madonna in 1992 remembers that Michael was also working on a commercial in a studio nearby. He said that Madonna walked in and Michael was telling him something like, “You know Madonna can be naughty, a bad girl. Sometimes she needs to be spanked.” He hadn’t realized Madonna was standing right behind him.

Howard Stern interviewing LMP, 2003:
H: Did [Michael] spank you?
L: No.

TII spank:

Travis Payne explaining the TII spanking motion:
RVE: There is a rumour out there that Michael was creating a new dance called The Penguin?
TP: I think the fans or some journalist, a lot of times Raffles we would just move and the expression would just come out and the shape would manifest itself. Often times we didn’t name things you know, that’s how we could communicate by doing the step itself. I think you’re talking about this thing [does spanking motion] I think that was just him feeling it and I asked him what he meant by that and he said “that’s like spanking all the bad people.”